2nd day
“Don’t remember my youthful sins or transgressions;
but remember me according to Your grace
for the sake of Your goodness…”
Father, as You know, sometimes in quiet time, and almost always out of the blue, there will come a memory of an incident in my youth in which I said something that was hurtful to another. I knew it was hurtful because I saw it in their eyes… before they had a chance to cover it up or shift from hurt to anger.
And in that moment, I didn’t really care. Most of the time it was my purpose to do it, whether I was angry or worse… I did it because it was fun. Youth!
There were times, when in the moment I saw that flicker of hurt, I would be ashamed and with time and the recurring remembrances shame can grow.
Now it’s been many years Father and I can’t believe the unnecessary hurtful things I would say, for no real good reason. And how I wish I could go look at that person now, eye to eye, and express how sorry I am for the thing I said, the way I behaved.
No one died. Life went on. Hopefully I/we have learned. But it is a kind of sadness that we carry.
“Against You and You only have I sinned.”
Father, I’ve never really been comfortable with that thought, because I sinned against my neighbor too. Maybe the core of this thought is that when we sin against You… we will sin, we will hurt, our neighbor.
You forgive us Father when we come to You humbly, with a true sense of remorse and repentance. And this is comforting. It helps with that sense of guilt.
But Father, if we have sinned against You and seek forgiveness and find some peace… can we ever have complete peace if we have not sought forgiveness from the one we offended? Isn’t confessing guilt… and heartfelt words of apology spoken… face to face, lips to ears… what is needed to have complete release… even if forgiveness is denied?
What of the ones who are gone… or in unknown far away-ness?
Is there comfort in a prayer that… You are out of the boundaries of time?
Father, go back where I/we cannot… minister and protect against the hurt I inflicted… for me, so that even in that moment when it happened, they were not injured. You could do that. Your will be done.
Father…
“Set a guard, over my mouth;
keep watch at the door of my lips.
don’t let my heart turn to anything evil
Or allow me to act wickedly…”
And from here forward Father let me/we not indulge a lack of self-control with regard to thoughts, words and behavior… thinking that because You have forgiven and will forgive, I am free to say and do as I please. For Your grace is given and sufficient because we turn away from sin, not continue in it.
Father… how great Thou art…
How greatly loved Your ways are.
In Yeshua’s name we pray…
Amen.
Psalm 25:7 CJB
Psalm 51:6(4) CJB
Psalm 141:3-4 CJB
Romans 6:1-2 CJ
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